he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
