ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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