Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
