hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
