I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
