would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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