plz talk dirty to me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
