I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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