it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
