You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize