I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
