He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
not ubering you a puppy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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