I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
