Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
