I cockslap morals
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
