mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize