After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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