Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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