I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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