no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There are leaves in my underwear?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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