Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
