Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize