Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
