That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My feet surprised me
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