After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
