just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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