Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize