if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
