There was a lot of him and a little penis
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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