I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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