No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
