Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is Oprah even human
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
