Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
