Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
