You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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