Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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