I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
