I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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