Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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