no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize