Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
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Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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