So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
