TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me they were just razor bumps!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
