I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
People in love make me want to vomit
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize