Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
