I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
