you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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