I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
