Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
