ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize