Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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