how can u be prego again
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize