Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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