i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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