Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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