Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize