i just had sex bonerless
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
